Gnawing off appendages

Today was day 6 of Pre Op diet.

The first couple days weren't bad but by yesterday I woke up spotting for my TOM and felt like I wanted to gnaw off my arm. Even my fat poodle was starting to look tasty for the bbq. 
I was starting to go into espresso withdraws and felt like the people from Intervention should bust down my door any moment. Worse than heroin. 
Ok maybe I am a drama queen. 
I do however drink about 6 shots of espresso daily so this is TOUGH.  Take away my strong beautiful Italian espresso, pasta, ice cream, a good medium rare steak and push chemical shakes at me and then throw a period in the mix. Oh - I KNOW I am fun to be around! 

So after my two shakes and nothing in between, I had the wonderful mindset to run to my amazing gourmet grocery shop. Mmm gorgeous flowers, fresh brewed coffee smells, a case of amazing desserts, fresh baked bread, a cheese department which makes me drool... wtf was I thinking.  Not a good place to be bitchy and starving.

I avoided the desserts like gang-green but did one brief over the shoulder look at them.

I headed to the seafood department and was a good girl. I bought big, beautiful plump scallops, some fresh crab claw meat and some Ahi tuna steaks for my lean protein for the next couple of days.

Chicken is boring me to pieces.

Last night I switched it up with a beautiful spinach salad, grilled salmon, and lots of grilled zucchini and squash in the salad. I added one tablespoon of goat cheese which was divine. For a dressing, I mixed a tiny bit of zero fat Greek yogurt, fresh lemon juice and fresh dill. Was delish with the salmon and "wet" the greens.

It was so good, I made a similar salad tonight but added seared scallops instead and a few bits of fresh crab.

Some delish news about crab. It's soft. It's yummy. It's almost zero fat. It's zero carbs. It's MASSIVE protein. 

Yesssss - I know what my go-to lean protein post band will be often! 

A few hours later, I felt hungry again. My stomach should be SHRINKING but yet I feel like I could eat a Macktruck.   I discovered popping in a beef bouillon cube in hot water a few hours later was actually delish and held me for quite awhile. Not sure why I haven't done this the past few days.   - If only they had zero carb/fat chocolate bouillon cubes for the TOM cravings.

When I looked at my gorgeous and healthy salads, I almost had a second where I said to myself...  " why are you getting a band, you know how to eat and cook healthy".   And then my other internal voice said, "We didn't get fat on too much zucchini".  So no second guessing...   I should be FULL longer. I need this band. I KNOW how to cook beautiful meals filled with fresh and colorful veggies and lean proteins.

I need a fill now - and I am not even banded!!